Please - A Shotgun

Bird watching tip: do not look straight up for a bird while chewing tobacco, unless you want to re-examine your most recent repast.

Goodness. Quality information like this for free.

Driving the shore road to Pearson's Mill SRA yesterday, and a fox crossed the road from the lake to the woods.

I have seen few in my life, and regard them as the most beautiful mammals in America. All have their finer points, from the sheer enormity of a moose to the audacity of a squirrel, but a red fox is the whole package.

There is a shady gravel road on the upper east end of Mississinewa Lake I like to walk on hot days. Very little traffic, and about forty yards of woods on either side bordering a narrow strip of row crops, an edge break that attracts tons of birds I can't find and a doe that crosses the road most every day behind me.

There is a model plane airfield about a quarter mile up the road, where some really odd, unfriendly people fly loud droning models that drown out the birdsong. It is a hobby I do not understand.

I have a habit: whenever I see a "gazing ball" I want to shoot it. Now, I've added a desire to shoot one (or more) of these little planes down. Realistically, I need a shotgun. A 20 ga. would be ideal, and a 28 ga. an esoteric marvel. Even a 16 ga. would be just ducky. I don't need a 12 ga. They only really have two uses: deer hunting, which I would never do, and home protection. Except I see a guy with sleep-crusty eyes and one of those magazines like on a tommy gun, shooting up the inside of his house until it collapses on him. The only other use is clay sports, and I can't afford the shells or the clays.

A .410 caliber is great to kill rabbits or squirrels, and I'm not interested, thank you.

So if you have a 16, 20, or 28 gauge you're tired of dusting, I am prepared to give it a damn fine home. And I'll make sure you get photos of the wreckage.

Many years ago out west of Phoenix there was a guy flying a giant seaplane model around a big pond. The wingspan must have been eight feet. I stopped my car and watched for about fifteen minutes, but the guy kind of got hinky and left. At the time I was seeking religious and spiritual enlightenment and guidance from some popular hallucinogens, and the sight of a bear standing next to an ex-taxi brush painted hugger orange with substance drooling from his agape mouth might have been reason for some of the flier's disease.

Another time, a similar soul-seeking mission, and I was hard concentrating to keep the car on the pavement at a blistering 8 mph. I looked out the passenger window, and there, 200 yards away and 50 feet up, was the Goodyear blimp.

Sand slows you down quickly, and I had several minutes to clean myself up and recall that Goodyear, AZ was 4 miles down the road. At that time there were at least two blimps there, for promo use on the Gulf and West coasts.

Even without the awareness aids, the blimp that close is bigger than Dallas, and I probably would have been well startled in any case.

A guy out there trumped my story, saying he was driving and tripping and lightning struck a tree about fifty feet away, but he was so full of shit his breath stank, and I'm sure it didn't happen, just as I'm sure he told the story enough he really thought it did.

If you have ever been anywhere near a lightning strike, you know you damn sure feel it, uncomfortably so, car or no.

Trick of the Light from "Who Are You" by The Who rocks.

So when the geeks weren't flying the little buzzy toys, I heard plenty of birdsong, and it occurred I only know one bird song, the northern cardinal, and the only reason I know it is from the scramble light at Riverside and McKinley on BSU campus.

Oh, yeah, I know the mourning dove. And the bobwhite quail, and the catbird - unless it's really a cat, as the bird apes it that good. And I heard a whippoorwill once, unmistakable. And a peacock, which screams like Sasquatch with his pecker in a rat trap. And crows...

Okay, got it.

There was a pair of screech owls hanging out in the maple in my backyard last summer, but they never screeched.

Plus I'm tone deaf, so when I do hear a new song, I can't repeat it for ID help. I could as easily remake the Pieta from Play-Do.

My grand nephew is doing well, is out of IC, and will go home in a day or two. Thank all who helped.